Each day i die a little. I dont know but my insecurities are killing me. I want a change but I guess it will never happen. My insecurities are preventing anything form of change to happen. I can never be ready for it I guess? I've already struggled for eight years. How much longer do I need? When will I eventually emerge to be someone stronger braver. When will this change happen. Goddamnit I hate myself. I hate myself for being so weak so weird so insecure so awkward. Yes I'm really very awkward. My face shows everything. One look and you can tell how uncomfortable I am when I'm talking to a stranger. How can people talk so normally why am I so abnormal.
Oh god I'm so pathetic. I want a change but I'm never ready for it. I'm not even comfortable in a surrounding filled with people of acceptance and of the same skin. Self pity is just sad.
There's no time to waste. No more fantasizing no more escaping from reality. My thoughts should be acted out if not it'll forever just be wishful thinking. I need more courage.
No more living a charade
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