Lost.

I get so caught up in my own world.

I'll be in Thailand in less than 3 days time omgggggggggggggg i cant believe it hehehehe. Havent been outta singapore for like 5 years omggg finallyyyyyyyyyyyyy kekekeke. I guess im a real shopaholic. Judge me all you want you are just jealous tsk. I cant wait i cant wait i cant wait ;) Van hates this face but i love it hehehe. I miss van. I think van can make me happy almost all the time. Van's like a reminder and i love her for that. I miss yien. I missed her birthday. :( I guess yuan's right, im a bad friend. Why am i like that. I guess that's why i hate myself so much. :(

Only the first sentence is relevant.

Why so replaceable?

ME

My insecurities are really suffocating me and i need to breathe. I need someone there to help me. An angel. Not fantasies. A real figure.

I've people asking me umpteen times and i don't know how to face them.
I cannot force myself to be happy when i'm not. The truth is it's really easy to put up a fake front and sometimes you wonder who actually cares. I guess i learnt the hard truth and really as cliche as it sounds, home is where the heart is. It's where i feel a little safer and i know I've people who genuinely care and will be there for me even if i fail them.

But still i know they will never understand me fully. I am the one to decide and i know soon and very soon I WILL BREAK FREE.

Distractions distractions everywhere